The Thrilling Adventures of Fred the Mouse

This is the story of how Fred the Mouse outsmarted an apartment of directionless twentysomethings.

Fred was making his usual 2 am run from beneath the fridge when he noticed that lights were on in the den.

Fred idly wondered if he had been spotted.

E: "I think we have a mouse."
Rocky: "I didn't see it. How do you know it's not a giant centipede?"
E: "He was like this big."

E spread her fingers to exactly mouse size

Rocky: "Okay we have a mouse, we should get a live trap."

Fred: Dammit! (which to the twentysomethings sounded like scurry scurry scurry SQUEAK!)

Later having adjusted his schedule to prevent further plotting in his presence Fred came upon a strange contraption.

Fred (laughing): That's the best they can do? Don't they realize I don't climb things?

Having successfully avoided the Rube Goldberg trap for a week Fred was feeling more relaxed. Until in his sleep during the day he overheard this tidbit. "Well I don't think he climbs, we better get a real live trap."

Fred, unfortunately does not speak English very well, he's originally an Albanian mouse. So Fred failed to understand the distinction between live trap and trap trap. He realized that the directionless twentysomethings were not going to stop attempting to capture him and decided that the only way to preserve his honor would be to die in the middle of the hallway. Not only did his death deny the twentysomethings a true victory over him, it also forced L to throw him out. It also forced Rocky upon hearing the tale of Fred's demise and burial from L to wonder if that thing she kicked in the hallway that morning was a dead mouse or something else. Even though there was nothing else in the hallway at the time. At all. But she would have noticed if she had kicked a dead mouse, right? I mean that's something you notice...