I have magic lunch meat.

I was making a sandwich this morning, because I am currently in a "I should stop spending money on frivolities like edible food that leaves me feeling satiated and well fed and instead prepare my own food for less money" week. As opposed to a "Hey I'm tired of making and consuming mediocre food I feel that I deserve the added bonus of eating tasty tasty Pad Rama" week. Which is a cycle that seems to be based on a tech week, week after strike style of living. Or perhaps a Catholic guilt confession cycle. Anyhow there I was making a sad sad sandwich and I had my salami, my corned beef and my cheese and spicy brown mustard ready and raring to go. (The spicy brown mustard was obviously the most up and at 'em, while the corned beef was complaining about it's feet a lot.) I went to go get a ziploc bag (you really need the bags because otherwise the sandwich will feel neglected and it is liable to get up on its hind legs and begin yelling the gospel at innocent commuters and well frankly that's just embarrassing) and I turned around and the salami was gone! I assumed that I had simply placed something on top of it and forgotten about it, but as a I moved things around and looked on the floor I was unable to locate it. I checked the fridge assuming that I had simply forgotten to take it out and put it on the table. The salami was not in the fridge. I promptly gave up because I was running late figuring that the smell would eventually notify me of the salamis location when I returned at night. As I was putting my shoes on in the den I looked up to see this!I am hesitant to curse because my mother is the only other person besides Revolutions Per Minute who reads this blog, but....

HOW the FUCK did my salami get there?

It couldn't have fallen into that position.

I at no point put it on the chair.

The only explanation is that the salami is magic and should instead of being eaten have a shrine built to it by me, inside the fridge. My roomates can deal. I mean the salami's magic god knows what the consequences will be if I don't construct a shrine and instead choose to consume it.

P.S. I apparently after taking the picture forgot to put the salami back in the fridge and L found it later.