My kitchen smells like Failure.

I tried to make French Toast.
I ended up making toast with some eggs on top.

The steps for making French Toast as I recall them from when I was 8 years old:

Step 1: Take two eggs and mutilate them in a bowl

Step 2: Drown some bread in the bowl with the mutilated eggs (When I was little this was always white bread around my teen years it suddenly became whole wheat.)

Step 3: Stick squished toast in pan; heat.

Step 4: Pour syrup all over food, maybe get some butter, and voraciously consume.

End Result:


The step for making French Toast as I performed them this morning:

Step 1: Mix eggs to about the usual consistency I do for scrambled eggs. (i.e. not very mixed because I mean c'mon I'm just gonna scramble them in the pan, right?!)

Step 2: Put whole wheat bread in not-quite-totally-mixed eggs; attempt to cover entire slice; end up with goopy spillover from one side to the other on the toast.

Step 3: Drop in pan, watch as eggs slowly cook on top of bread. Begin to panic.

Step 4: Rapidly scrape eggy bits on sides of pan off. Remark to roommate that you seem to have managed to fuck up cooking French Toast, which you had not hitherto realized was possible. Listen to roommates suggestion to add milk in with the eggs next time to thin them up.

Step 5: Cover Toast in syrup.

Step 6: Find health insurance card just in case. Have 911 highlighted on phone's speed dial. Eat.

End Result:















P.S. Following syrup dousing french toast was totally edible.